So, here's the thing...

I like church. In general. I've met lovely people in churches, I've had one of the best jobs I've ever had in a church, I like their acoustics and what a lot of them are trying to do in their communities, and I understand what most of them are about. Huzzah. That said, I believe that God is pretty okay with my sleeping in when I'm tired. I was raised in a very Protestant way, which gave me the impression that it's totally cool for me to be all, "Hey God, sorry about Sunday. Next time, fewer Pixar movies, more church." Basically, I like the Protestant idea that individuals can have a personal relationship with God if they want one, and a church is a nice, but not totally necessary, thing. I am also totally cool with people who think something different about God, or don't think there's anyone up there at all. You know, whatever makes you happy. The thing I am not is evangelical. I have no interest in telling people what they should be doing vis-a-vis their souls. So knowing all that, dear readers, let us plunge into the story of my Korean church experience.

Wiser, more experienced people than I may know (and indeed, told me later) that most Korean-American Christians are part of the Very Evangelical Branch of the Presbyterian Church. I was young and foolish and didn't know this when I accepted a recommendation to Onnuri Church in Daejeon. I decided to try this one first because it was between my apartment and school, which meant it was nearby and that I absolutely knew how to get there. I was really hoping for a place with a choir for English speakers, as I have no musical outlet at this time and am desperately seeking one.

It was dire. When I walked into the low-ceilinged meeting room, I almost walked right back out, but I had already been snagged by the Elder, P. So I got the intro and sat through the Christian pseudo-rock, which included a re-purposed song by Lonestar. LONESTAR. It was especially alarming because after the service, it seemed that they reverted to being pretty normal, tasteful people, two of whom had spent some time in Chicago. Except that they told me to pray about stuff to an extent that makes me feel like when stopping at a crosswalk, I should pray for guidance about getting across. That was before they started telling me that it was highly probable that I was the answer to a prayer, and an angel sent from God. (Which is, you know, totally true, but... yeah, no, didn't dig it). I do not plan to return.

So, things we have learned from this experience:

I am so spoiled. So, so spoiled. For years, whenever I was part of a church, the best musician was in charge of the music, and it was great (even, ahem, when that musician was me - Epiphany, represent!). Also, the people preaching were mostly very academic, articulate people. I was not so fortunate here. Though the pastor was a lovely person, his diction and organization were underwhelming, and he was really down on science, which is something I expect in Texas, not in the host city of Korea's MIT. Anyway, my whole life up to now has made me a church snob. Still on the hunt... if anyone knows a good place to get your choir on in Daejeon, speak now. There will be no holding of peace.